The Puzzle

Allow me to write about this little analogy I've been taking to heart this week. I've been feeling like this mission of mine is this super big puzzle that I'm taking forever to figure out. I just want to see the picture, but I don't have the box in front of me. Just the pieces, and not all of them. Some are missing and I have to go out and find them. Frustrating, right? Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say I'm finished, I'm done. But then I remember why I'm doing the puzzle, why I chose to begin in the first place.

These past few weeks have been hard. I feel like I've reached the end of my rope multiple times. I think I've even fallen off of my rope. There are nights where I throw myself on my bed because I don't want to do anymore. I feel like I've been holding the last straw for days now and I'm tired of it. This little puzzle of mine is unsolvable and I've done everything in my power to try and figure it out. I've searched for the pieces and have tried to get others to see the beauty in my puzzle. But the pieces are still missing and I feel like people only see the unfinished product, not the progress.

Then I was reminded of something. I know the person who has the picture. I know who has the missing pieces and who sees the beauty of my puzzle in progress. My loving Heavenly Father. In fact, He's helping me piece together a bigger, better puzzle. The puzzle isn't just my mission, it's my life. He's giving me the pieces that I need to work on right now. He knows what pieces I need and what order I need them in. He sees the worth and potential my puzzle has.

I know I talk a lot about potential and change, but I fully and completely believe in both. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us and sees all of the good in us, even when we can't see it ourselves. I know without a doubt that He does, because there are days when I feel worthless. I give up on myself because I just don't see the point. That's when He encourages me to keep pushing, keep crawling, keep going. He tells me it's okay that I don't see the potential, because He does. He sees it so much that He helps me through all of my trials and all of my weaknesses to get closer and closer to it. This is a puzzle He wants me to finish, and with His help I know I can. I know that each of our lives is a puzzle, one where we feel like a dog ate some of the pieces and the box was thrown in the garbage so there's just no hope. But there is hope, because no dog ate the pieces and the box is in the hands of a loving Father. Your puzzle will be solved, He will give you the pieces you need when you need them. We can't solve this puzzle alone, but with Him we can.

Steps in the Dark

"You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." 
Harold B. Lee

I'm the kind of person who likes to always know where they're going, what they're doing, and what's going to happen next. That's what brings me comfort. But, that's a lack of faith on my part. I constantly pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him about what His plan is for me. My prayer usually sounds something like "Heavenly Father, I want to know what the plan is. Please tell me, I just need to know and I'm not very good at not knowing." What a total lack of faith on my part! Sometimes, we have to take those few steps in the darkness to have the light appear.
Coming out on my mission was definitely a few steps in the dark, but once I made the decision to serve the Lord lighted my way. Now I'm in Vancouver on my mission and suddenly I feel like I'm facing a dark path. But wait, I already took a few steps in the dark. I already had faith.
Faith is an everyday thing. It's not something we do once or every so often. It's something we need to have every day. Is it hard? You bet. Is it worth it? Completely. Each day we have to take those few steps in the dark. When we do, our loving Heavenly Father will light the pathway before us. It is by taking these few steps in the dark that we are able to grow and use our ability to choose. It is after the trial of our faith that the blessings will come (Ether 12:6).
This week I'm going to try my best to take those steps in the dark and allow the Lord to light my way, not tell Him what I think the way should be. I know that as I exercise my faith in Him, He will help me to see the way I need to go.

"Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." Ether 12:6